The Great Outdoors
by Leverage3621
Summary: Eliot decides that Hardison needs to spend more time outside so takes him on a little fishing trip.


Disclaimer: I do not own Leverage.

Pairing: Well I suppose you can call it a pairing but it's a friendship pairing between Eliot and Hardison.

A/N: Thought I would try something a little different, plus I've been wanting to write a story between Eliot and Hardison because their scenes on Leverage are just hilarious. I hope you guys enjoy and please review.

Hardison was at headquarters working on various things making sure everything was in working order for their upcoming jobs so they didn't have a disaster like they did on the last one. _'That one did not end too well,'_ he thought thinking back sending a few shivers down his spine.

He glanced up from his laptop when he heard the door open to see who it was, "Sup Eliot."

"Man do you _ever_ go outside?" Eliot asked falling into the chair next to him to see what he was up to.

"I will have you know, El-i-ot," he stressed, "that I am making _damn sure_ that the little fiasco that happened to us doesn't ever happen again. Period, thank you very much. Coming in here like you own the place. I'll have you know it's my name, that's right Alec Hardison, that is on this title, that's all I'm saying."

"Whatever man, just hurry it up," Eliot told him rolling his eyes at how dramatic the hacker could be, but even though he could be a pain sometimes, Eliot would definitely trust him with his life (and in the world Eliot comes from that's saying a lot).

"This isn't something you can just hurry," the hacker informed him, "I have to like manually make sure that our stuff is secure and if it isn't I have to personally program the gaps that are showing and-"

Eliot waved his arms letting him know he didn't want details, "I don't need a step by step list of all the geeky stuff you have to do."

"Why do you even want me to hurry?"

"Because I've just decided that you, my friend, need a little one on one time with Mother Nature herself," Eliot smiled patting him on the back, "So we're going fishing….properly this time."

Hardison shook his head, "Uh….no man I'm too busy plus Mother Nature is a woman I don't ever want to know. And I will have you know that I get outside."

"Going down the street isn't getting out. You have to go explore and get dirty," Eliot explained.

"I like being clean, it keeps me healthy," Hardison argued, "And the last time we explored we nearly died and I do believe I did enough exploring then to last me the rest of my natural born life."

Eliot stood up pointing at Hardison as he went into the kitchen, "I'm not taking no for an answer so you can come peacefully or wake up on a boat in the middle of a lake. Your choice."

"You wouldn't do that would you?" Hardison asked the hitter calculating the probability that Eliot would actually knock him out to get him on a boat and nodded his head answering his own question, knowing Eliot would.

"I think we both know I would. Now hurry up," he said grabbing a soda from the fridge, "It's noon now so we can be out on the water by…three. I'm going to go get the boat hooked to my truck and the gear and when I come back you better have a cooler packed ready to go."

"Man Nate will kill me if I don't finish this," he complained not wanting to continually be on Nate's bad side.

"You have like another week to get it done," Eliot said, "Now hurry because I'll be back before one."

Hardison waved him out not believing Eliot was going to make him spend some quality time in the woods and on a boat in the middle of some lake.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

An hour later Alec's phone rang and picked it up when he saw that it was Eliot, "Yeah?"

"Grab the cooler and head down here, we're ready to go," the hitter informed him, "Or do I have to go up there?"

"No! I'm on my way no matter how stupid I think this whole idea is," he said, "See ya in a minute."

"Alright," Eliot answered hanging up.

Hardison picked up the heavy cooler and headed downstairs meeting Nate just as he stepped outside.

The mastermind almost didn't recognize Alec with the cooler in hand, "Um Hardison what are you doing?"

"Eliot's making me spend some time outside, so we're going fishing," he answered nodding towards the hitter's truck.

Nate turned and saw Eliot leaning up against the boat waiting on the hacker, "Fishing, huh?"

"I know, it's terrible, so please tell him I can't go because I have work to do that can't be ignored," Hardison pleaded.

The mastermind smiled wide and gave him a huge pat on the back, "And take all your fun away? _Nooo_ I couldn't do that. You two have fun!"

"Man Nate that ain't funny, you know I don't like the woods; this is torture and is clearly going against the eighth amendment," Hardison yelled to the retreating back of Nathan Ford. "No cruel or unusual punishment; this trip is both cruel and unusual. How many computer geeks get on a boat and fish?" he mumbled to himself putting the cooler in the boat glaring at the hitter as he did so.

Eliot noticed the hacker changed clothes and happened to glance down at his shoes or lack there of, "Flip-flops?"

"I'm going to be on a boat so I thought flippy floppies would do just fine," Hardison said.

"This isn't a T-Pain video," Eliot stated.

"So. I'm comfy, therefore this is what I'm wearing. Deal with it," Hardison told him hopping into the passenger's seat.

Eliot hopped in also, shaking his head but had a huge smile on his face none the less because he was going fishing and aggravating Hardison at the same time; two of his favorite pastimes.

Alec looked around the truck at all the equipment Eliot had, "What no dog, cause I think that's the only thing missing."

"Oh trust me if I had one, you'd be in the back seat cause the only proper place for a loyal friend like that is the front," Eliot laughed pulling slowly away from the curb.

"I ain't loyal?" Hardison asked feigning disappointment knowing Eliot was only messing with him….maybe.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Eliot pulled the truck up to the boat ramp and hopped out, "Come Hardison it'll take both of us to get her off the trailer."

"Yeah, yeah," Alec replied getting out of the truck, stretching his back out from the long trip. He then went to help Eliot unhook all the straps, slapping his tenth mosquito in just a few minutes, "Man there isn't going to be any of _me_ left by the time we get the boat in the water."

"You can put some spray on in a minute," Eliot said rolling his eyes at Hardison.

Hardison, of course, kept mumbling about being outside, "No one in their right mind should want to do this. Bugs that suck your blood and who knows what else is lurking out here waiting to attack. People are just crazy. I'll take a computer and an air conditioned room any day."

"Quit your complaining and grab the rope. I'll back the boat in while you keep a hold of the rope so it doesn't float off. Got it?" Eliot asked.

"Yeah I got it," Hardison stated.

Eliot got back in the truck and began slowly backing the boat up hoping Alec didn't let go of the rope because if he did he was making the hacker go after it. The boat slid off the ramp smoothly enough, but Hardison wasn't really paying attention and had his back to the water and was pulled backwards when the boat continued to drift away from shore causing him to stumble back and would have ended up taking a swim had Eliot not caught him, "Man I told you to keep a hold of the rope, which means to actually watch the boat. Now pull it in so we can board," Eliot told him.

"I've never done this before. How was I supposed to know the boat would pull me in?" Hardison asked banking the boat so they could load the equipment.

"Alright we're ready. You're going to have to actually push us off of the bank," Eliot informed him looking forward to his reaction when he got wet because the person pushing the boat off almost always got wet.

"And how exactly does one do that?"

"It's easy. You just push the boat with your hands and jump in before it floats off," he explained giving Alec a pat on the back before getting in the boat.

"Oh yeah sounds _sooo_ easy," Hardison responded sarcastically. He waited for Eliot to sit down in the chair by the motor before pushing the boat with his hands, which took a lot more effort than he thought it should have, but succeeded in doing so, although he forgot to jump right away.

"You better hurry or you'll be swimming to me," Eliot yelled.

"I hate you man," Hardison said before making a leap for it and almost completely landed it but had his one foot slip and go into the water, "Cold! It's cold! And nasty. Cold and nasty, man I'm so going to get some sort of disease from this nasty water, I know it. You did that on purpose didn't you Eliot?"

Eliot just laughed, "It's just water and if you wore proper shoes it wouldn't have been so cold."

"Water that animals and other creatures do their business in," he shot back shaking his wet foot off the best he could sitting down in a chair before he completely fell in. "Where's our flotation devices?"

"Seriously?"

"I don't swim that well, Eliot and if this boat is going to sink I need something to keep me afloat. Unless you want me clinging to your back while you swim back to shore. You know I'll do it, now where's the lifejacket?" Hardison asked completely serious because he was not about to drown that day.

Eliot opened a compartment near him and pulled out a bright pink lifejacket throwing it towards the hacker, "Here."

"Why do you have a pink lifejacket? Is there something you need to open up about Eliot?" Hardison asked.

"No! I have that one for the occasional lady I may take out on the boat."

"Uh-huh. You don't have another color?"

"Nope. It's pink or sink," he replied smiling evilly.

Hardison put it on because he'd rather wear the pink jacket than drown, "Hhhh, now that I'm bug bitten, wet, and wearing a bright pink lifejacket, what do we do now?"

"I'll find us a nice spot to anchor down and then we fish," he said starting up the motor and taking off across the lake to his favorite spot, glancing at Hardison every now and then laughing at some of the looks the hacker was giving.

Hardison was somewhat enjoying the boat ride until he spotted a log up ahead that Eliot must not have seen, "Hey Eliot! LOG!"

"What? I can't hear you," Eliot yelled pointing to his ear and shrugging his shoulders.

"Great we are going to die," he mumbled before pointing up ahead and yelling again, "LOG!"

Eliot's face went to one of confusion and leaned over to see around Alec and realized what he was saying when he saw a huge log up ahead getting closer by the second; he managed to steer the boat around it just in time.

"I am never, ever going fishing again," Hardison said aloud looking up to the sky praising Jesus he was still alive.

A few minutes later Eliot killed the engine and drifted them over to a cluster of trees growing in the lake. "Hey man, take the rope from earlier and tie it to the anchor, then throw it overboard off the front of the boat. Do you think you can handle that without falling in?" Eliot asked with a smile.

"I do believe I can handle that," Hardison answered as he went up front to complete his task.

When Alec sat back down, Eliot handed him a fishing pole before choosing one of his own. Hardison grabbed it and noticed it didn't have a bobber or bait on it, "Um Eliot? Where's my bait at? And don't I get a little bobber thing?"

"Oh my god man. You have got to be kidding me, you want a bobber too? What are you twelve?" Eliot asked digging around in his tackle box finally finding a bobber and throwing it at Hardison.

"No I just like to know if I'm getting a bite. It's how I fish on the Wii, so it is how I'm going to fish out here," he defended trying to figure out how to get the thing on the line.

He fumbled with for a whole ten minutes before Eliot yelled, "Stop! Just stop. Hand the thing to me and I'll put it on for you before you poke my eye out or do something to yourself."

"You don't have to be so testy," Hardison said watching how the hitter hooked the bobber on the line so he could do it next time if the need arose. "Now aren't you going to put my bait on?"

"Nope. You can do that. It'll be a good man learning experience for you," Eliot responded and cast his line between a couple of trees, reeling it in a bit to tighten up the line. "You can use a minnow, a cricket, or a worm."

Hardison looked down to where Eliot was pointing and noticed that everything was moving and glanced back up at the hitter skeptically, "You don't actually expect me to touch those, yet _alone_ stab a hook through one, do you?"

"If you want to fish," Eliot said.

"No I don't want to fish. I didn't from the beginning," Hardison complained still staring at the bait. "Isn't it a bit _cruel_, stabbing them with a hook and throwing them in the water to be eaten?"

"What are you a hippie? Just grab one and put it on the hook," Eliot stated annoyed that Hardison was complaining so much.

"Fine," he relented; his face one of disgust as he dug out a worm. "Quit wriggling around!" He finally poked the hook through the worm once then a few more times so it would stay on but realized that the worm's guts and juices were all over his fingers making them sticky, "_Awwww_. Eliot, man, you could have warned me that the worms leaked crap."

"Ha ha. Funny thing is that some of that may actually be crap," the hitter laughed looking over at Hardison, who began shaking his hand to try to get the stuff off, "That isn't going to do anything."

"Then how do I get it off?"

"The same way you got your foot wet," he responded.

Hardison gave him a _'You're kidding'_ look before asking, "You don't have any water or anything on board to wash my hands with cause I Do Not want to touch that water again. What kind of person goes out in the wild and doesn't carry any sanitizer of any kind?"

"Like everyone. And if you don't want to touch the water you can either lick it off or deal with it."

"That ain't happening," Hardison said leaning towards the edge peering uneasily into the water, "Nothing's going to like, bite my hand is it?"

"More than likely no," Eliot told him while reeling in a little bit more of his line to try to entice the fish to chase his bait.

"_More than likely_? Don't play with me Eliot."

"Man I'm joking, just wash your hand already will ya?"

The hacker then put his hands in the water and began rinsing them off and pulled them out looking around for a rag finally finding one to dry them off with, "So what now?"

"I swear. Push in the button on the reel and release it as you cast your line, WITHOUT letting go of the pole," he explained watching as Hardison followed the instructions he gave him, "Nice one, man."

"Yeah it was, wasn't it?" Hardison stated happy that at least one thing went right for him on this trip. He reeled his line in a little to tighten it when needed and looked around at the trees glancing back at his bobber every once in a while to make sure he wasn't getting a bite. He was about to ask Eliot something when he noticed his bobber go under and come back up again and continued to do so, "Uhhh Eliot! I think I'm getting a bite."

"Don't just stand there, you play fishing on the Wii; it's basically the same. You pull up to hook it then reel in quick," Eliot told him.

Hardison nodded pulling up on the pole then began reeling the fish in as quickly as he could stopping when he felt the fish pull back so he didn't snap the line, "Man get the net because this one is HUGE! I'm telling you it has to be some kind of record."

Eliot grabbed the net walking up next to Hardison waiting for the fish to get close enough so he could net it.

Hardison reeled in some more and before he knew it the fish was in the boat, "Awesome!"

Eliot, however, died laughing, "Oh yeah that is a record alright, a record for the tiniest fish ever caught."

"Shut up Eliot, at least I caught something," Hardison argued lifting the line to get a better look at his three inch long fish. "He's kinda cute. I'm gonna name you….Oscar."

"You don't name them!" Eliot told him walking back to his seat and picked up his pole willing a fish to bite not wanting to be showed up by a guy who rarely went into the woods.

"Well _I_ do," Hardison said, "Now how to I get him off?"

"Use that rag to grab it, so it doesn't poke you with any of its fins and just maneuver the hook out," he stated easily.

"You mean the same rag I used to dry my hands with?"

"Yep."

"Please tell me you wash that thing," Hardison pleaded already knowing the answer.

"Nope."

"Man this day just gets better and better," he mumbled taking the fish off the hook. "Get a picture of me and my fish, will you, before I let him go."

"Yeah whatever," Eliot said standing up and took his phone out to take a picture, "Got it."

"Alright Oscar, you swim free little buddy," Hardison told his fish before putting him back in the water to release it.

They sat there in comfortable silence just enjoying the sights and sounds of the outdoors. Eliot cast his line back for what had to be the thirtieth time that day when he finally got a bite, "Yes, I got one on Hardison."

"Do you need the net?"

"Not sure," he answered reeling in and saw the fish as it jumped out of the water. "No I don't need it."

"You sure cause it looks pretty big," Hardison asked but got his answer when Eliot pulled the bass out of the water and onto the boat, "Wow man, nice one."

"Thanks," Eliot said motioning for the rag so he could unhook the fish, "Wanna get a picture?"

"Heck yeah I will," Hardison said whipping out his phone to take a few pictures of Eliot's fish.

"Now that's what I call a fun time," Eliot said releasing the fish back into the water and baiting his hook again.

"I suppose it's alright," Hardison agreed somewhat enjoying himself even though he felt completely filthy.

"I knew you'd enjoy it," Eliot told him glad that the hacker was enjoying this experience even thought it was _way_ out of his comfort zone.

They stayed out there a few more hours with Eliot catching three more fish and Hardison catching one more (which he named Speckle) that was slightly bigger than his first one. "What do you say we head back?" Eliot asked putting his pole up.

"Whenever you're ready," Hardison told him also putting his pole up a little nervous about the ride back due to the little log mishap.

"Alright," Eliot said, "Just pull up the anchor and we'll head back."

Hardison went to the front and pulled the anchor up, struggling a bit with it but finally got it aboard and untied it, "Okay it's up."

"Kay, here we go," Eliot said starting the engine before steering them out of the trees and back to the bank so they could pack up and head back. They made it back to shore without incident, which Hardison was extremely happy for. "Alright Hardison get out and take a hold of the rope without stumbling this time."

The hacker jumped to shore with the rope, pulling Eliot in; Eliot then backed the trailer up and between the two of them they got the boat back on it securely, "So is that it?"

"That's it man," Eliot said climbing in the driver's seat looking over at Hardison, "I had fun today, so thanks for joining me."

"Well I didn't really have a _choice_, but I did have fun minus the nasty parts of fishing," Hardison told him ready to get home so he could get a shower.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

The next day Eliot walked into headquarters catching the last part of Hardison's fishing story.

"Guys I'm telling you the fish I caught was huge!" he over exaggerated and held his hands about two feet apart to show them how big it was, "It was a monster; I'd reel in and it'd pull back, then it leapt out of the water and there was a split second when it looked at me and I stared right back at it eye to eye, man, it was a magical moment-"

"Yeah so magical it shrunk the fish to a whole three inches when he pulled it aboard," Eliot finished for him pulling his phone out to show everyone the hacker's fish.

"Eliot you're supposed to let me tell the story," Hardison complained, "You always come in and just ruin my fun."

"Ha! Is that a pink lifejacket Hardison?" Parker asked laughing at the picture.

"It was the only one Eliot had and I was not about to risk not wearing it and drown in that nasty-ass water," he defended himself shaking his head for emphasis.

"I think it brings out the color in your eyes," Sophie joked with him.

"Thank you Sophie," Hardison told her, "I thought so too."

"Anyway, my fish on the other hand were huge," Eliot interjected showing the size of his fish with his hands also exaggerating his story, although not nearly as much as Alec did.

"They weren't that huge, just saying," Hardison piped up whipping his phone out also to show them.

"I don't know Hardison, they are like monsters compared to yours," Parker told him shrugging.

"I did not ask for your input woman. Now if ya'll will excuse me I have work to do," he told them moodily, heading over to his laptop to finish what he was working on yesterday, "because I don't just sit around and do nothing, nah-uh I earn my money unlike some folks."

"Oh here we go again," Sophie sighed leaning back to listen to Hardison's rant on how he's the only person who ever does anything around there.

"Eliot do us a favor and never take him outdoors again because I think it just makes him complain even more than usual," Nate told the hitter rolling his eyes at Hardison's speech.

"Yeah that or just let him tell his fishing tale the way he wants to next time," Parker said standing up and patting Eliot on the shoulder before heading into the kitchen to fix herself a bowl of cereal.

"Or I'll just leave him floating in his pink lifejacket in the middle of the lake," Eliot decided before sitting down on the couch throwing a pillow at Hardison to make him shut up glad he had a good group of friends like them.

The End

A/N: Well that is all guys, but I do hope you enjoyed it and I would enjoy reading about what you guys thought of my little story, so please review.


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